We have community group tonight - it's my last night preparing for community group and I just hope and pray I do it well. It is scary to pass of the responsibility of this ministry and not know if it will quite happen the way I expect it to.
I hope I've done enough prep work to enable whomever would watch the boys all the tools needed to do so. Logan prefers white food. I guess that's pretty easy. Damon... a little more difficult to pin down - things change so quickly with him, I guess it's good that the time he will need to be cared for will be short on my end of things - I don't have much time with him during the summer. I'm afraid of what I'll miss. Will it be equal to what I'll gain? If I don't do it now... when?
So, if I were to list my areas of concern it would be:
- loss of time with the boys
- having to stand on my feet for 10 hours at a time
- Rolling perms for hours on end!
-Not being able to get to necessary Dr. appointments for Damon, that cannot be negotiated.
-The household being thrown off balance, not budgeted, cleaned or well shopped for.
-Meal planning.
-Getting so hopped up on myself that I get arrogant and forget that I need God.
-Looking the part that is expected of a Gene Juarez student (see my picture below and you'll understand my concern).
I can "what if" all over the place, but it wouldn't matter if it were school or something else... live will still go on and if I don't make a move now... I'll be in the same place 13 months from now that I am now.
I was actually surprised to see how hard it was to get the application and approval process completed.
Ok, so 13 months - I plan on being done by the time Damon is done with 3rd grade! A race to the end for sure! A motivation to have all of next summer free to play with the boys!
Here we go: Tuesday, May 18th - a life changing day for sure. I'll keep you posted.
My hair can't ever look like this again (my face either):
