Monday, October 25, 2010
When I think about his person, I envision cuff links that were to die for, watches that he had furiously searched for, ties that he hoarded like there was no tomorrow, suits he had made for him personally (he looked like an Easter egg one year.. with the help of a personal shopper from Nordstrom), belts for any size, the latest glasses and of course shoes. Ahhhh... the shoes. His collection of shoes was actually an obsession. It went beyond obsession. He had shoes in multiple sizes and colors and textures. When he died I believe the count hovered somewhere around 120 pairs of men's shoes. All expensive shoes. Never would he have dreamed of going somewhere like Target to look for accessories, let alone shoes. My mom ended up giving them away as she did with most of his clothing.
It took my mom quite some time to give away all of his clothing, but she did so at her own pace and slowly claimed his closet as her own for her craft projects which she so enjoyed.
A few years ago, my dad was into TOTAL MATCHY, MATCHY - he had several shirts that matched his shoes exactly. He was super into stripes at that time... he would wear jeans and shoes that coordinated with the shirts to the T. I could look at him and think, "at least he's coordinated"! Please note, when I said several... I meant several - different colors, etc.
His personal hygiene was one that I'll never forget. Long showers, a system of drying off that was a loved routine, he shaved EVERY day, when I see him, I often envision his head turned with a face full of shaving cream responding to your question as we would contemplate the day. He would get hair cuts frequently and used sun in on a regular basis.
He took better care of himself than most women I know. I don't know how he did it, but he remained on the cutting edge with his fashion, whether it was his own or the actual latest fashion.
I think he would be proud of me. I think he would be the last person to ever let me touch his hair. He was a good looking guy. When he died, the few things I got from him were one of his car t-shirts that still smelled like him and cuff links. Some ties went to Ryan and I'll make sure that the boys get in on that when it's appropriate.
Mom made stars for us at Christmas time (he died in early summer) out of some of his clothing, which I think was therapy for her and a blessing for us - we can incorporate this into our Christmas time.
When I look back, I appreciate his style, his meticulous way of taking care of himself, his passion for a good deal on clothing and his execution and attention to detail. I love my Dad and miss him. This is just one of the things that when I close my eyes I think about.
His birthday was last week. He would have been 60. There would have been fireworks. He's been gone for just over 5 years. What a happy memory he passed along.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
As I've plunged myself into a life of great personal maintenance, I honestly struggle with keeping up with it all. Time vs. family vs. household vs. work vs. time with Jesus vs. all the pressures of a woman's life...
Wax (or sugar) my brows (at minimum) and other places at least twice a month.
Foil every 4-6 weeks (and/or some kind of color treatment)
Hair cuts 6-8 weeks
Nails at least 1x per week depending on what you have done (manicure vs. artificial nails 2x per mo) - don't forget fingers AND toes (I do mine at home)
Facials every 3-6 months
A facial mask 1x per week
Your skin care routine - morning and night (which consists with at least a cleanser, serum, eye cream and moisturizer)
Makeup application (don't get me started on how many steps this consists of for me)
Great blow dry and flat iron for your hair
Choosing the appropriate clothing for the right occasion (running kids to school, grocery shopping, work, church, play groups).
Touch up your nails if they've started to flake (mine are going at a rate of every three days) and the WAIT time to let them dry.
I think that's about it. If I am missing something - let me know! I did cover the shower part, right?
Of course there are many more things I could add to this list... but this is the minimum that is the generally expected of the average woman in our culture...
We are not even going to go into product... as you know I could go on for hours about serums for hair and face, lotions and sunscreens - body and face, primers for your foundation... ok, I'll stop, but you get my point.
How do you fit all of that into your time? How well do you maintain a balance between what is relevant and needed for your basic beauty routine - and feel free to pick and choose what you do. How do you keep up? Well, I'll be honest - as I've plunged headlong into the beauty industry, beyond just working a make up line, but hair, nails, waxing. The pressure to maintain it all is ON! How do I keep up? How do I get it all done and balance putting myself in front of my my family and household duties - let alone time with Jesus and some reading to challenge my mind vs. what my industry now requires? How do I not become consumed with the way I look and myself, yet maintain a standard for the line of work I've chosen?
In CAD (Condinued artist development - Mod 2), we did a million manicures in about 2 weeks on each other. It was crazy, it was fun and educational. As a result, I've noticed my nails are growing like crazy, longer and stronger than before. So, I decided that I would start painting them on a regular basis. Logan (and Damon) have been oddly curious with my new beauty routine for my fingers. I painted my nails last night after the boys were asleep - because they've got to dry and I can't manage a two year old, open bottle of nail polish and wet finger nails, right? This morning Logan DID notice that my nails were a different color and he took each finger and smelled them. It was totally hilarious. I know that painting fingernails might be a minor thing, but if you look at my "proposed" beauty routine - it adds another 2 hours to my week that is already jammed packed.
At what point do you stop, slow down or remove parts of your beauty routine to maintain your life? I know this won't be popular among many in my circle, but it's a real question I've got to ask myself... how to maintain and keep all the balls in the air.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Our first day on the floor was Tuesday and I didn't expect to be so busy. My first guests were people that I did not know and I think that was for the best. I could be myself and like I've been told for weeks: be a duck. Smooth on the top and feet scrambling under water. Well, that's what happened. I've found that it is a little tricky to find a balance between having your guest wait a really long time when you are waiting in line for a check from your educator, my education and my guest's satisfaction. I'm trying to strike a balance. I have not found it yet, but hopefully through out the next several weeks I will.
So... saturday was the end of week 19 and the last day of my first week on the floor. I get a guest with long... and I mean long hair. Not only was it long, it was tangled like I've never seen before! AND it was 6pm. As a Mod 2 student, we are given 1.5 hours to complete a hair cut. At 6pm, I've got to finish up with my guest and start cleaning up so every one can get outta there at 7pm. I just kept thinking... how is this going to happen? It took me around 15 minutes just to untangle her hair! I ended up giving her a decent cut, my educator cut bangs that looked great and gave her just want she wanted. I booked her an appointment for next week - just to make sure those bangs are working for her, the right length, etc. and made an appointment 8 weeks out, just before the holidays to ensure that she was able to get a new cut right before the holidays. She also went home with some detangling spray for sure! This is a prime example of how you can make it right with a guest, even when you are cutting it short on time. Thanks to my instructor Bianca who cut section 3 with perfection and helped me send home a happy guest! I stayed late, but ended my first week with much success!
Here's to a successful week 2 on the floor!
Friday, September 17, 2010
As I reflect back, time has flown by. Six months ago, I had no idea that I would be in school full time, let alone, know how to cut a woman's and man's hair cut, give a scalp massage, color, perm, highlight - and didn't know what a relaxer even was... but I now know how to do them! In the past week alone, we've learned corrective color and passed the final, manicures and pedicure practical and written finals.
I wonder, where will I eat lunch... the break room is awfully small. Will we have time to chat and learn new things? Is our foundational education over? We've got 8 months left - I've learned so much in 4 1/5 - I cannot imagine what the next 8 holds.
We've been told, "wait until your on the floor" and "we'll let you know when you need to know" and "just wait for now" - tomorrow is the day they "let us know" - we'll get our new lockers, assignments and expectations.
This move feels like a graduation of sorts - we've met the requirements, we've made the grades and had the attendance to warrant moving onto the clinic floor... Tomorrow's moving day... gotta pack!
Good-bye for now annex - I'll be back for State Board Prep! See ya working on the floor Tuesday!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Today is my day off. I always try to prioritize my precious time, with so many things pulling me in different directions. Finals are this coming week, I have clothes that don't fit the boys that I need to get in order and some potential grocery shopping to do.And yes, I plan on getting us all to church on time tonight.
Yesterday was a tough day for Logan, he asked for me when I wasn't here, he had to get up early, pulled from bed to take me to school early in the morning. Talk about Mama guilt. I promised him we would get the whole day together today. Well, as you can see... we are together, he just happeneds to be sleeping. Maybe we'll get a walk in later.
My days off never quite turn out as expected, but I am sure glad to have my little snuggle bug right next to me for now. What a perfect relaxing afternoon!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
I have taken steps to ensure my success in the classroom - just little things that I believe that have given me an advantage. A couple of weeks ago, I realized I was super aggravated and had a head ache - I was in front of a huge fan that was drying out the moist products I needed to accurately and efficiently do my work and I was next to the music - blaring acdc. There was also a lot of idle chit chat, which was slowing the rate at which work was being achieved for the entire classroom. I must say, it did take me all afternoon to figure out that those were key factors that were not working! I have since moved across the classroom, my concentration level has been honed and my work has increased in efficiency and accuracy by 100 fold.
Everything has gotten in my way to be able to go to school at Gene Juarez - since I was in high school, when I first started looking at going to school there. I think it was initially that I was scared, then it was that yes, indeed I was scared - scared of failing. Then, again - I am scared of failure. Thus, I am finally going to school. Sometimes at the beginning of school, I would look back over my shoulder and whimper a little to myself, scared of being there. But, that's over. I am sacrificing so much right now to be in school, that I have not ever sacrificed before. I have settled for mediocrity and that is no longer acceptable to me. I strive for excellence in my work, through head aches, feet aches, itchy skin, prickly people and throbbing arms and fingers. This is my new life.
The perm picks remind me of my grandma
When I finally discovered that it was fear that was holding me back, I gained a new perspective. It's the end of week 11 - finals for Technical are next week. I can't believe I've made it this far. I can't wait to come home next Saturday night - having graduated this module and knowing I was focused, my head was in the game and I came out a winner. Mediocrity no more. Life's too short.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Well week 7 rolls around and we all graduate into Technical. Different educators = different game. "Ok people - go get your *Rock Stars* - your *Five Hour Energy* or *Red Bull* - we've got some work to do!!! Next day: come with your (see above list) and be here on time! Next break - go get another one people - hurry it up!
I gotta tell ya. Energy drinks have not appealed to me and they still don't, but these educators are awfully convincing. However, I have not seen any behavior out of the students (who's numbers have steadily increased) that have decided to drink the juice preform at excellent levels or increased anything other than perhaps irritation and possibly aggressive behavior. If anything, it's an interesting side note on watching a group of people migrate toward the same behavior - "everybody's doing it..."
By the way: I've never had an energy drink and I've even decreased my caffeine intake since I've been in school!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
We have community group tonight - it's my last night preparing for community group and I just hope and pray I do it well. It is scary to pass of the responsibility of this ministry and not know if it will quite happen the way I expect it to.
I hope I've done enough prep work to enable whomever would watch the boys all the tools needed to do so. Logan prefers white food. I guess that's pretty easy. Damon... a little more difficult to pin down - things change so quickly with him, I guess it's good that the time he will need to be cared for will be short on my end of things - I don't have much time with him during the summer. I'm afraid of what I'll miss. Will it be equal to what I'll gain? If I don't do it now... when?
So, if I were to list my areas of concern it would be:
- loss of time with the boys
- having to stand on my feet for 10 hours at a time
- Rolling perms for hours on end!
-Not being able to get to necessary Dr. appointments for Damon, that cannot be negotiated.
-The household being thrown off balance, not budgeted, cleaned or well shopped for.
-Getting so hopped up on myself that I get arrogant and forget that I need God.
-Looking the part that is expected of a Gene Juarez student (see my picture below and you'll understand my concern).
I can "what if" all over the place, but it wouldn't matter if it were school or something else... live will still go on and if I don't make a move now... I'll be in the same place 13 months from now that I am now.
I was actually surprised to see how hard it was to get the application and approval process completed.
Ok, so 13 months - I plan on being done by the time Damon is done with 3rd grade! A race to the end for sure! A motivation to have all of next summer free to play with the boys!
Here we go: Tuesday, May 18th - a life changing day for sure. I'll keep you posted.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
In my heart, God slowly taught me that just as a missionary with a heart for a specific people group, would spend years knowing the language and culture of the people they are going to minister to... they would learn their language. I am now convicted that if I am to love the "people" group that I feel God has called me to, I will learn their language. I may not do it perfectly, but over time, I will learn. I will learn to tell the twins apart and I will help them learn to love their brother with the few signs I know and am able to pass along.
God planted seeds in my family long ago. Damon learned to sign as a small child and had 50 signs he either displayed or understood by age 1. Logan is two and understands and displays signs as he can articulate. We aren't pros, but we know a little and are learning more. If we can learn their language, how much more will we be able to enter into their experience and really, truly love them.
God has given me a gift in my sweet friend, she is not some abstract name I've pulled out of a "needs" or "ministry" web page, but a carefully and strategically placed into my life... just two blocks away who has changed my life and my heart. May God continue to give me a desire for my friend and her family, even when times get tough (with either of us - lol)! We're in it for the long haul. Not just a passing interest of people who have this "issue" that could easily become a side show. I feel protective. I'm not about to introduce them to people who have a passive interest, invest nothing and walk away. But, that too is up to God who is sovereign and knows and deals with "what's up"!
I love my friend and her family and thank God for them every day. May God continue to bless them and bring people in their lives who will be strategic about their love and care enough to learn their language - not for selfish ambition, but for a deep love of people.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
The woman who's voice I just talked about became a heretic - Gwen Shamblin. She was a really successful "Christian" dietary theologian. In the late 90s (I can't believe I just said that), she was the talk of the Christian circles, every one asking have you tried the "Weigh Down Diet" - does your church have the "program"? Her premise was that we eat only when we are truly hungry and you could eat whatever you wanted. I listened to her tapes (yes tapes) daily for months. She started isolating people and teaching about God through the enrollment in her program. Unfortunately her view of God was a little warped. Apparently you needed to become "pure" before coming to our Holy God and basically following her program would give ultimate submission to Jesus and ensure your eternal Salvation.
This is not true of course. Come just as you are. Our sin nature is from birth and God redeems.
Well, I decided to just become "aware" - it's like when you've been sinning and you didn't know it, but it is revealed to you in some form or fashion... well this is exactly what has happened to me. My need to loose weight didn't line up with my desire to loose weight. Wow. It's been about 7 weeks and I can't believe all that has happened. I've grown as a person... and lost ground too. I have been sporting a nasty 'tude for a couple of weeks. My friend Amy said... maybe your hungry. No, I'm not, just for some reason, God has me really, really struggling with the flesh - my heart and my mind = seeing the "fruit" but not eating it.
Tonight I am below my caloric goal pretty significantly, but I'm not hungry. I took a stroll through my kitchen just before I sat down to write, just to "see" if there was anything in there that might interest me and fit into my food "budget". Nothing sounded good except for a few rice chips.
So, I have been approaching my calories this way: I can take out of the bank, only what is there. I am using the Livestrong daily plate and it's been an amazing tool. I plunk in my numbers and track my food - it allows me to "budget" out my calories. For example, I know I can pretty much drink coffee all day long b/c it's under 10 calories and half and half is only 15! I think a combination of knowing what's "in the bank" and your nutritional needs and hunger cycles are really the trick - at least for me. You may have other convictions, but this is what has worked for me.
Today, I stood outside of a QFC, where I had just bought all this fresh produce and smelled *very clearly* Burger King. I didn't see it coming, but it was there. I know you know that smell, a grilled burger waving in the wind. My mind went to... wait I stopped myself because I was fanticizing about a CHEESE BURGER! I realized that the cost was too high. It would be sinning if I had driven over the Burger King and ordered that Burger. I had a certain amount of "calories in the bank" and this would blow them all if I decided to make that decision. Even as I had walked through QFC I thought, Aren't those cupcakes so cute? Isn't that so appealing. I was even standing in the garden, being surrounded by beautiful things. Through this experience, for the first time I feel like I can relate to a man in regards to many men's struggles with lust. I lust for food. Don't get me wrong, but I want to "feel" good by "beautiful" things. Even though I know that broccoli with a little lemon spritzed on top actually tastes good to me, is easy to prepare and would satisfy me... oh that Burger would have given me what I wanted when I wanted it, but the cost would have destroyed every thing in a matter of minutes and I would have paid for it in my "bank" and my conscience and my belly - AND feel like a hypocrite. Isn't that similar to the struggle men have? They can log onto a web site, unzip their pants and be satisfied in a matter of minutes. All I had to do was drive through a window, pick up my food and open up wide in the privacy of my own car. Guess what? Tonight... I would just be left wanting more and it would probably be worse and I would then be tempted to just continue to go over my caloric intake with great justification... well, I ate at noon and now it's 11pm so I'm entitled to eat. Tomorrow would have been easier to justify one more "unhealthy" decision. On the other hand and on the other side of the store from the Bakery isle... I ran through the pop and candy isle as I had made a wrong move and found myself in the wrong isle... just like Joseph - running from potipher's wife - wrong place. Wrong time. All I could see were calories clinging to my body as I eagerly neared the end of that isle. The people scanning the video of customers must have thought... what the hell is going on there?
Thankfully, I have come into an education where I can, after much research on the foods I like to eat, eat them in small portions and not have the, "well I really shouldn't..." to - yes I can... in moderation and decide what the actual (caloric) cost to me will be and if I can live with that cost and not over analyze it - thus it becomes an idol, but listen to the sweet voice of our gentle Lord when temptation crosses our path.
Remember, he was tempted too. Satan offered him food if he would bow down to Satan. Why would we be exempt from the same temptation?
Weight the cost - educate yourself. See if you can afford it. If not... don't.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
- I've lost over 10lbs.
- Dropped a dress/pant/underwear size. They were having a great sale at Lane Bryant last week and I thought I should probably go check it out... then it occurred to me that nothing in the store would fit! I'm below my pre-wedding weight (over 3 1/2 years ago).
- I have ENERGY. Crazy Energy. I feel great.
- I am aware of my behavior.
- My skin looks better.
- I have not had a lick of alcohol since February 20th and have not been tempted. I don't believe I had an "alcohol" addiction, it just tasted good. I do plan on having a cosmo for my birthday next week.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Ok, so we (I) had the *brilliant* idea to get all the family members - who are out of state, web cams for Christmas... in the name of relationship building, of course. Well, we got every one set up before Christmas day so we could all talk on Christmas... because of course it is a high holy day and if we don't talk... well heaven forbid the thought. But, how great it was going to be - not only talking on Christmas, but doing it face to face!